‘Bad behaviour’ or a speech and language issue?

Starting school is a big leap for many children. Although much of their day will still focus on play, school will start to be a little more structured. They might find they have to be still and concentrate for slightly longer periods than they’re used to.

For some children, this is a time when ‘naughty’ behaviour can start to rear its head – the child might be disruptive, not listen well, or struggle to sit still.

If you find you begin to get this sort of feedback from your child’s teacher, it’s worth remembering that children are very rarely simply ‘naughty’ and it’s worth looking at whether they might have a speech and language issue.

Here are some things to consider, and what you can do to help:

Signs to look out for

Is your child displaying frustrated or angry behaviour at school? Are they having ‘tiffs’ with their teacher, or even being a little unkind towards their peers? This can mean they’re simply finding it hard to get across their wants and needs, or understand what’s being asked of them.

This can be particularly true of children impacted by a lack of socialisation during the pandemic. Many missed out on mixing with their peers and other adults at key stages of development. Being locked down at home with just their parents or carers meant that they were not exposed to the diversity in communication they would have experienced by seeing friends, other family members, even strangers we come across in everyday life, such as shopkeepers or bus drivers.

Don’t immediately assume a diagnosis

Problems with communication, coupled with perceived ‘out of control’ behaviour can sometimes cause parents to worry about conditions such as autism. Although these can be indicators of neurodiversity, it is always worth looking at whether a child needs a little help with their speech and language first.

Don’t be alarmed by their behaviour either – starting school is a leap and getting used to their new setting, teachers, classmates and learning new skills can provoke some big feelings in a young child, particularly if they’re struggling with expression or understanding.

Arrange play dates

Speech and language isn’t just about the physical act of speaking; it’s about all forms of communication and understanding what’s appropriate in different social settings.

Arranging play dates is a great way to encourage socialisation and peer interaction - this helps children to develop play skills, sharing and turn-taking. It’s also a great way to help them get to know their new classmates – and for you to get to know other parents!

Read to them regularly

Having to sit on a rug in a classroom and focus is a new skill for lots of children; they’re used to having free reign to get up and run around at home!

Reading to them at home is a great way to help them develop this skill. Try extending the length of time you read to them a little at a time, so they get used to paying attention for longer periods. Ask them simple questions as you go through a story to check they’ve understood.

Chat to them

You can be your child’s own speech therapist simply by talking to them. Chat about what you’re going to do that day, narrate everyday tasks such as cooking, or walking to the shops, discuss things they love whether it’s cars, animals or football. Singing is also a lovely way to engage them – you could even try missing out words to see if they fill in the gaps.

Rather than trying to get them to say or repeat words, focus on exposing them to different types of language, sounds and vocabulary – they absorb so much just by listening to you.

Don’t worry about their A,B,C!

Parents often focus on encouraging their child to know their alphabet or write their name before starting school but there are other areas that are more important. In fact, it is often easier for teachers to start with a blank canvas and teach the whole class using their own methods, so try to focus less on these skills.

Also, we parents were often taught to read and write in a very different way to how it is done now. Some of us will have learned words through sight whereas now it is all about the phonics. So it is not helpful for us to refer to the letter ‘s’ as ‘ES’ for example, as the teacher will make the pure sound ‘s’ - we don’t write the word ‘sat’ as ‘es-a-tee’!

The key thing to remember is not to worry. School starters are still developing their speech and language and each child will be at a different stage. Often some simple exercises at home can make the world of difference. However, if you feel your child could benefit from some professional help, get in touch. We can assess them for any issues and if necessary, arrange sessions with one of our friendly team.

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